As you all may know, election time in the U.S. is rapidly approaching – promises are being distributed like lollipops, speculation is on the rise and analysts are hard at work. The race for a seat in the Oval Office is on and neither competitor is showing signs of fatigue. In fact, the gap between Bush and Kerry is so narrow that many would say it is impossible to predict the outcome at this point in time.
I would have to disagree. I know exactly who our next political leader will be – the same George W. Bush that we’ve grown to love and hate. And it doesn’t matter what the critics say or what the current poll results show, because there are forces in this Universe that defy reason and logic. and even the most advanced survey techniques.
It is believed that there exists a terrible curse that affects every American President elected in a year that is perfectly divisible by 20. It originated in 1811, when a Shawnee Indian Chieftain by the name of Tecumseh suffered defeat against General William Henry Harrison. Angered by the death of his half-brother in the battle of Tippecanoe, Tecumseh sent a message to Harrison, saying that he would be made President, but he would soon die, along with every other Great Chief chosen in 20-year intervals from then on.
As you may expect, this prophecy was never actually documented and thus cannot be proven to exist. However, looking back at the history of our Presidents, there is indeed an odd chain of events that is worth noting. Listed below is a record of every American President elected in this 20-year Cycle.
William Henry Harrison – elected in 1840, died in 1841 of natural causes (pneumonia).
Abraham Lincoln – elected in 1860, assassinated in 1965.
James Garfield – elected in 1880, assassinated in 1881.
William McKinley – elected in 1900, assassinated in 1901.
Warren Harding – elected in 1920, died in 1923 from an alleged heart attack (also rumored that his wife poisoned him).
Franklin Roosevelt – elected in 1940, died in 1945 from cerebral hemorrhage.
John F. Kennedy – elected in 1960, assassinated in 1963.
Ronald Reagan – elected in 1980, survived an assassination attempt in 1981 (bullet missed his heart by an inch).
George W. Bush – elected in 2000, fell off a bicycle and choked on a pretzel.
This set of tragic occurrences could be interpreted as proof that Tecumseh’s Curse is far from a fable. or it could be mere coincidence. One thing is certain though – this pattern of death would have a lot more credibility if it wasn’t for the Reagan Anomaly. According to the curse, Ronald Reagan should have expired in his days as President of the United States, but instead he passed away on June 5, 2004.
What exactly does this mean? Reagan was a great man who possessed unearthly qualities, so it is quite possible that when he clashed with Tecumseh’s 140-year old spirit, he prevailed, thus lifting the curse. Naturally, one question arises – has order been restored to the White House? We shall find out soon enough.
George Bush’s first term as President is almost up. If he is unharmed by the time Americans go to the polls, this could mean one of two things – the ghost of Tecumseh has finally been put to rest, or the Old Chief is biding his time and waiting for the opportune moment to strike. The latter would imply that Bush has yet to face the Shawnee leader during another term in Office.
Would this be a historically unprecedented occurrence? Not at all – Abraham Lincoln and William McKinley died while they were in their second terms, and Franklin Roosevelt was serving his fourth when his life was cut short by cerebral hemorrhage.
However, if George Bush is indeed re-elected and does manage to stay healthy throughout his entire term – which we sincerely hope he does – then this would surely indicate that the curse has been shattered. Or in more scientific terms, it would demonstrate an interruption in the highly peculiar chain of events that have transpired over the past 160 years in the White House.
As for me, I have my doubts. Something tells me that Tecumseh’s spirit is still out there – lurking in a distant closet, cloaked by darkness and surrounded by mops and washing fluid – plotting ways to exact his revenge. Yes, I believe that George W. Bush will be elected once more, because he has yet to face the Shawnee demon. Going up against an angry spirit won’t be as easy as, say, capturing Saddam Hussein, but I’m certain that Good will prevail. After all, Bush believes he’s on mission from God – and maybe he’s right.
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Philip Norton is a writer for www.DigitalBeaver.com
