George Bush Uses Fortune Cookies To Help Him Run The Country

The most important leader in the free world consults with fortune cookies each day before he reads his daily briefing.  George W. Bush (“The Decider”) receives 6 or 7 chinese takeout fortune cookies each morning from Secretary Of State Condoleezza Rice to consult with before reviewing each day’s Presidential Daily Briefing.  Where Secretary Rice obtains the cookies at this time is unknown.

The story brings to mind another political incident.  Some 20 years ago it was disclosed by the media that Nancy Reagan frequently sought advice from an astrologer in connection with event planning for the white house and also for scheduling of meetings for the President during the Reagan administration.  The 1988 astrological revelation caused a massive stir in the press, and hundreds of political cartoons were drawn mocking the Reagans.  The Reagan Library in Simi Valley California, in fact has 2800 pages of files that detail the media attack.

It is not clear what the President meaningfully derives from reading the fortune cookies, but inside sources close to White House staffers indicate that “it can’t hurt”.  Critics of the administration point out the folly of relying on chinese takeout fortune cookie fortunes for guidance on issues involving foreign policy and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, but aides to the President point out that “no decisions involving the life and death of our soldiers in the mid east theater were ever made strictly on the advice of these little paper fortunes.”

I am sure that this is not the last we have heard of this.  More as this story develops.