Am I human or am I something else?

A Journal Letter by Kelly Toronto Ontario Canada
This is an absurdly crazy piece of self analysis but it’s also part of my life experiences.
I can not deny any of it nor prove much of it. I hope someone will be able to help me sort it out
and find these people so I can have it out with them once and for all. Am I human or am I something else?
I found out many things about myself but not who/what I am. There’s a multitude of us living on Earth just living normal lives both poor and middleclass and rich both healthy and lame, according to their assigned posts.
I say ”˜us’ because they told me I’m not what I appear to be -human.
* They never call themselves human, it’s insulting to them.
They ordered a human friend named Jason who was with me to go sit-down when he questioned how weird the conversation was becoming.
They have told me they will not even have discussions with humans. I find this confusing since they say that they have some authority in every government and major corporation in the world and have co-existed with man since man’s beginning.
I also found out that I am a person of great importance to their cause. I was told I’m supposed to teach mankind a better way to live; ie: clean up the atmosphere. I get the impression from the way they talk to each other about me that there will be a great battle between myself and someone or something else in which I must be as powerful as possible , even god-like.
I met one of them ”˜a doctor’ at 26yrs old and he acted as though I were important and I said ”˜well shouldn’t you be groveling”¦’ and he burst out laughing and said ”˜you really don’t know what you are”¦WE ”˜MADE’ YOU!’ I felt like I was just a tool, a device for them to use as they saw fit”¦ I felt like slapping his face! He then said ”˜I wash my hands of this’ and walked away. He refused to treat me for the suicide attempt. I was very upset.
I was 31yrs old when by chance I had met the doctor who had delivered me at birth; Dr. Wilkie (now retired and living in Naples Florida ”¦as far as I know) and when I repeated my name he flipped. He yelled ”˜I am not responsible for bringing that terrible abomination into this world, they told me they would kill me if I refused to deliver that thing, it’s not my fault, it’s not my fault.’ he then went into his office and slammed the door. For some reason it is forbidden for them to touch me or me to touch them, at least that’s what a metro Toronto police officer said when I was 19 at Maple Leaf Gardens on Carlton St. I believe that this is why they needed the doctor to deliver me. I had contacted the hospital where I was born in 1965 Grace Hospital Toronto and was told they are no longer a hospital per say, they just keep records there now. I asked for information on my time of birth for an astrological reading and was told there were TWO Kellys born on that day in 1965, one being a boy and the other a girl. This shocked me. I have encountered references to this other Kelly during my life; a friend of mine met her and said ”˜She looks like an ugly older sister to you.’
The non-human policeman from when I was 19 yrs old told me I was a prophecy and I would change the world of mankind for the better. I was told half of them supported my creation and the other half (they referred to them as ”˜the others’) believe I am a mistake and should be killed. I said why don’t you kill them then, and he said ”˜we can’t they’re our people’.
They say I must have a realization to understand what I am and my purpose. A dream revealed the self-realization as a means for the attainment of the 18th power (an infinite level of power to them and I had a very slim chance of receiving it in this lifetime) which will cause an internal transformation which will make me realize what I am and in doing so unleash inhibited or repressed miraculous powers native to what I am, I must realize what I can really do and what my true body/essence is. This reminded me of the Matrix movie. If I fail to have the realization naturally without aid from anyone soon, they have two options; tell me how to have the realization which will cause a lesser degree of glory in me and then {in theory} according to them,
I must follow a strict itinerary they set forth to complete their plan for mankind else their plan may be jeopardized, or to terminate this body and place my essence or consciousness in a newborn and start all over again hoping I will have the realization in the new body, but it would be their last hope, since time is running out for man and presumably them. They say if they do tell me how to have the realization I will then realize how much different the new power level is compared to if I did it myself and I will also realize how I could have done it on my own, and I would be most grievously regretful of not having achieved it myself. They’ve held back from telling me for my own good. Whenever I meet them they ”˜ask’ me if I had the realization.
They are supposed to be able to hear my thoughts after it happens, but they ask anyway. They tell me if ever I need them merely call out ”˜I want my people to come to me’ and they will be with me”¦ it has NEVER WORKED. I met two of them by chance in a small town north of where I live. A man and a woman in the first being a Judge the latter being a Justice of the Peace; they were surprised to see me but glad. The woman said ”˜we have wanted to help you several times throughout your life, and we don’t understand why you haven’t asked for help, will you tell us? This occurred in the fall of 2003.
Some of our people have asked for help and we use you as an example of enduring difficult times. They relent and respect your fortitude. I told them I had no idea they’d actually help me nor did I know how to contact them, else I may have asked for help many times. They said ”˜Now we understand, well you’re here now; is there any thing you want? They told me I can ask them for anything of this world and they will give it to me, no matter how difficult I may think it would be, it would be easy for them”¦ though it was said ”˜it must be within reason, and not often’ by the woman.
The man said ”˜We have only one question for you. How much time will you give us to fulfill your request? I told him after pausing for a minute or two; ”˜a year?’ He smiled and said ”˜We can provide any amount you ask for within 30 days’. Although the woman insisted several times over 5 minutes for me to ”˜say a number! we’ll tell you if we can give it to you, else we’ll ask you to say a lower number.’
I was too nervous to ask for any amount at all, not having seen them before that day. They told me to return to the city because there are more of them there and they could protect me better there; protect me from what? They said ”˜If you want to have a talk with us again it’s best to come here mon-wed as early as possible.’
They told me they can see the future and that there will be one attempt on my life; and only one, a man will rush up to me and try to kill me but he will fail. I said what will happen to him and they said very sternly; ”˜He will pay!’ They said ”˜the humans don’t know how to kill you, only we do.’ They didn’t say how far he would get though, and I didn’t ask. I told them the church wanted me to get married and they said ”˜that won’t happen’, I didn’t ask why not but I was told that if I married and my wife was pregnant; then one day I’d wake to find she had been taken and would never return. They said they don’t want me to go through that so it’s best for me not to get married at all.
They have said that a companion is being prepared for me and when I ”˜self-realize’ who/what I am, the companion will be given to me for life. We were both ”˜designed’ to fall in love at first sight. They said the companion is a gift from them for all the help I will give them in the near future. They say they can see the future very well and have foreseen me succeeding in fulfilling my mission for them. My friend Jason had a traffic fine which he wanted to get reduced. They said to me ”˜you can decide this matter, how do you wish us to proceed with this violation? I was shocked and simply told the woman ”˜I want you to be nice to him.’ She was then dismayed but nodded. The fine was reduced to the minimum amount. It’s strange how I forgot they offered to help me two yrs ago, I forgot about it till two months ago”¦ maybe this is their way of saying they want to talk to me too. I have since returned to visit them at the Dufferin County courthouse but to my shock they were both gone, replaced with two people who totally ignored me presence. I was very depressed and felt abandoned.
As I walked down the main street of the town I heard a man’s voice on a ”˜blow horn or outside intercom saying in a very friendly manner; ”˜Kelly, Kelly if you can hear me walk over here.’ I looked across the street and saw no one and turned and continued to the transit bus location. I faintly heard ”˜maybe he can’t hear me’, then it sounded as though a woman said ”˜he’s not ready yet.’
He could have been calling out to another Kelly I had no idea if he was really talking to me, but I felt very nervous that it may be ”˜the others’ so I didn’t respond. I’m feeling so lost now. Believing they were there gave me some stability I thought. I tried calling out to them in the government building 3x ”˜I want my people to come to me’ and nothing happened as usual.
I’ve over-heard my mother and (step-father who has threatened my life a few times even telling me he arranged a conditional hit on me should he died during heart surgery) he didn’t but the condition is recurring; anyway they were sitting in the kitchen talking but it was a language without vowels, it was very unusual and made me wonder if one or both of them were my people as well,
Within two minutes of talking he realized somehow that I was awake in the other room and stopped talking. It seems as though only the males have a type of telepathy, the women look to them for advice and knowledge. My mother and step-father don’t treat me anything like the two I met in the small town who were most reverent and kind. I also believe he’s been influencing my dreams or causing them through mind control”¦
I’ve had dreams where people were rushing towards me and then I had a realization and they stopped looked at each other and then exploded, I suddenly woke and my step-father said ”˜he learns fast, that’s good, he’s going to need it.’
Another time I had a dream and the people rushed me from a closer distance and then rubbed their hands on me and I didn’t have the faith to believe it wasn’t real and so they didn’t end up exploding and when I woke my step-father said ”˜he didn’t do it that time.’ My mother has made the comment that ”˜We have helped you far more than you will ever know!’
More recently my mother has been telling my sisters (I should be able to or that I am a healer) I wonder if this has to do with my aunt, who is a member of the church and maybe she told my mother something about me; else the non-humans did. I really wish my people would come to me on a monthly basis rather than me seeking them out rarely.
I’d really like to have an all day discussion with them rather than 10mins and then they say we’re really busy we have to go. I’ve had a crappy chronically depressed life so far. The non-humans say they can feel my emotions and several times wanted to help me but I have to ask for their help they can’t offer it.
I wonder how many people are around in my same situation if any, am I really the only one without realization? I wish I could understand all of it soon. I’m beginning to hate them now.
It’s a journey getting to the small town to visit them. They gave me such a small window of time to see them in 9am-11am mon-wed. The only bus going there gets there at 1130am outside their available time for discussions. So I end up taking a taxi there at a cost of 100 bucks and getting no satisfaction. Then wait 3hrs for the next bus going south then taking 3 different city buses to get home for a total trip time of 9hrs from beginning to end all for nothing! The first time I did it they weren’t available on a Tuesday and the second time I get there again on time and am told their times for seeing the public have changed to 2pm-4pm and the second bus going south is 740pm! So I waited 5hrs in the waiting area and end up meeting their replacements who wouldn’t acknowledge themselves as being my people. So I accomplished nothing. And these are my people!?! willing to give me the world on a plate!?!
Basically, I was looking to see proof of the ”˜so many words’ they’ve told me since I was first contacted at 19. It’s hard to ”˜SOLIDIFY’ words into beliefs without proof.
If they could show me proof of their power and resources in this world since they plan to change it so much with my help. Then perhaps aiding me may help quicken the realization that I truly am one of them. Again how much should I ask and what to ask for ”˜money?’ ”˜power?’ or ”˜the realization’, to both help my current circumstances yet also make me believe fully that they’re the most powerful beings on earth.
And if they don’t intend to help me at all like this then I wish they’d just get on with their decision of to transfer me to a new body or not”¦ I can’t believe they’d leave me like this. If I’m so important to their plan of charity to the humans restoring the atmosphere from pollution etc”¦why can’t I experience their help/power first?
I can’t see how that would be too much to ask. Perhaps it’s necessary for me to be poor at this point, just a sleeping machine on hold till they decide it’s time to use me. And why a man must attempt a kill at all since they can see the future so well, so why don’t they stop it all together.
I was wakened once by a deep voice of an old man coming from the wall behind my headboard; he said ”˜Hear Me!’ that was it, nothing more. Both here and at my sister’s, I’ve heard a loud knocking on my window as if there was someone there trying to get my attention, in both cases no one was around and no footprints in the snow. I was startled. I’ve had a dream of a blonde man who came to me and placed his hands on my head and he insisted I let him enter my mind so he could assist me with getting close to the realization”¦ during the telepathy I began to lose consciousness in my dream?
So I fought him and he released me and said what are you doing and I said I thought you were trying to hurt me and he said I can only come back one more time for this”¦
I’ve also was lying in bed awake and a transparent window was opened by a woman 3feet above my face and she looked down at me, she was wearing all white robe and the room she was in was all white and there were others there with her and she said ”˜he can see me’ and a man said ”˜I told you to use caution, he’s very powerful.’
She was surprised I could see her and we looked at each other for 10seconds, (she was Caucasian with a thin face and she had dark red hair and a small nose) and then she backed away and closed the window and it disappeared. My impression of her was that she was a scientist.
As I read this completed letter for the first time I became quite dizzy and felt as though I was in the last stage of inducing a deep hypnotic trance. I wonder if it was the beginning of the realization, seeing my thoughts and their words on paper for the first time.
And knowing it was the truth. When I went to bed within 1 minute the deep vibrating of my skull began again and I felt the onset of a forced trance as though my head was in a vise, it lasted for 10mins then went away. While reading and revising the letter, I feel a pounding headache at the back left side of my head behind my ear, coming on strong.
And then a feeling like the blunt end of a pencil or something is being pressed into my right ear about once a day for a few minutes. The trance also reminded me of the blonde man and how he affected my mind so much in the dream. I’ve since begged for his return to finish the process but he has not. I think my 9 yr old nephew has been taken several times throughout his life by the grays. One time I slept in his room and I had a dream of a giggling grey alien entering the room; I could feel his giggling in my lungs. I wondered if it was how they calmed my nephew down before they took him.
When I stayed at my other sister’s place; I noticed when I woke up there was 3 dots on my left palm of my hand it reminded me of implants aliens do to people which I’ve seen on the internet. About two days went by then they faded away”¦ they looked like 3 points of a triangle and were under my skin like graphite from a pencil, there may have even been 4 or 5 points. My sister has since asked me to move up to her place in a small town 90mins north of Toronto, I instantly recalled the warning to stay in large cities by the non-humans but I despise them at this point and basically I couldn’t really care if ”˜the others’ find me and do away with me now.
My friends think I’m crazy so I reached out to ufo/alien believers on the internet and have made one new friend. There’s no passion or path to my life I wish they’d do something anything rather than ignore me. I have since emailed the CIA using a hotmail.com address. I simply wrote I have information on et’s please msg me back. But they have not replied as yet, it’s been awhile now. I want to see the non-humans sooner than later, it’s been 11yrs in between visits I’m posting this letter to get a reaction from them. I know 4 of them are traceable government employees within ontario canada. If anyone can find them for me you may also be finding the answer to your own quest to know such entities. Please contact me if you can be of assistance. My email is [email protected]