Unexplainable.Net

Top Secret Documents About UFO conspiracy and STRO

Secret Contents of a Certain Government Warehouse
Version 0.1

Compiled by Stirling Westrup
At [email protected]

Version 0.2

Compiled by Timothy Toner
At [email protected]

This file attempts to catalog and describe the contents of a particular secret
government warehouse. In the movie “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, this warehouse
was the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenant. Likewise, the first
episode of the “War of the Worlds” TV series shows that the Martian war
machines from the first invasion attempt were also stored in this warehouse.

This file is in its preliminary stages still. The first dozen or so entries
have been done in more or less the format that I would eventually like the
whole list to follow. I haven’t had time to do more than a first pass over the
rest of the list, but folks are clamoring for a progress report, so I figured
I’ld post what I’ve accomplished so far. Anyone who wants to help out by
sending details, corrections or new entries should see the section on editorial
policy, to make this compiler’s life a bit easier.

Folks who have already helped with their contributions include:

Greg Barnes ([email protected]),
Chris Barrus ([email protected]),
The Beast ([email protected]),
Belgarath the Sorcerer ([email protected]),
Jeff Berry ([email protected]),
Dave Bonar ([email protected]),
Seth Bradley ([email protected]),
Matt Brockman ([email protected]),
Jeff Brown ([email protected]),
Stan Brown ([email protected]),
Paul Butterworth ([email protected]),
Dack A. Carroll (2390carrolld.vms.csd.mu.edu),
David R. Conrad ([email protected]),
Conty ([email protected]),
Frank Crary ([email protected]),
Kevin Darling ([email protected]),
Drew Davidson ([email protected]),
David Dryer ([email protected]),
Andrew Durston ([email protected]),
Tim Dunn ([email protected]),
P. Floyd ([email protected]),
John Francis ([email protected]),
Serge Gilette ([email protected]),
Jeff Graham ([email protected]),
Adam Goldberg ([email protected]),
Richard Griffith ([email protected]),
David m Harmon ([email protected]),
Pete Hardie ([email protected]),
Deus Imperator ([email protected]),
C Irby ([email protected]),
Faisal Nameer Jawdat ([email protected]),
Sam Jones ([email protected]),
Richard Kennaway ([email protected]),
Ernest Kim ([email protected]!krazykid),
William Kucharski ([email protected]),
KUVAMP ([email protected]),
Geoff Lane ([email protected]),
Charles Anthony Leone ([email protected]),
J. L. Martinez ([email protected]),
Travis McCord ([email protected]),
Elizabeth Mccoy ([email protected]),
Bryan McDonald ([email protected]),
Thomas Miller ([email protected]),
Morpheus ([email protected]),
Jered M. Moses ([email protected]),
Chris Nasipak ([email protected]),
Lance Neustaeter ([email protected]),
Brennan “CrayDeath” O’Keefe ([email protected]),
Mitchell Patterson ([email protected]),
Benjamin R Pierce ([email protected]),
Randy M. Roberts ([email protected]),
Bruce Rodean ([email protected]),
Jonathan Sari ([email protected]),
William Geoffrey Shotts ([email protected]),
Larry Smith ([email protected]),
Stephen P Spackman ([email protected]),
Graham Toal ([email protected]),
Lance Visser ([email protected]),
Tor Iver Wilhelmsen ([email protected]),
Steven Markus Woodcock ([email protected]),
Brent L. Woods ([email protected]),
John ??? ([email protected])
Timothy Toner ([email protected])

Editorial Policy
—————-

The vast majority of items described below have been suggested by others, and
some of them I’ve never heard of before. As a consequence, I’ve had to either
research the details, or make them up out of whole cloth. In some of the
entries I am likely to have made mistakes. If you think you’ve found an error,
or just have something to add, don’t hesitate to let me know.

If you want to make an addition, then please try to give more explanation than
a single line (although I’ll take that as well). I may not have seen the movie,
or read the book that you are refering to, and I want the final list to give
enough information on each item for a GM to be able to adjudicate the uses of
things *he* has never heard of. At the end of this file is a list of suggested
items that I could not figure out. Any help with them is also welcome. I should
also mention that this list is being cross-posted to a fair number of
newsgroups, and I am not a member of all of them. If you wish to insure that I
see your replies, then either cross-post them to rec.games.frp or send me
e-mail. Oh, and please don’t include the full text of this document in your
replies to me, as I already have a copy.

Not all items suggested will be included in this list, or unchanged if they
are. Sometimes I will get several similar suggestions and will combine them
into a single entry. Also, I will sometimes modify entries in an (ultimately
futile) attempt at some sort of consistancy. Finally, not all items are
suitable for inclusion in the warehouse. The following criteria have been been
used to determine what belongs and what doesn’t:

A) The object must have some interest value, either as a curiosity, or as
something that a bunch of role-players could have fun experimenting with.
We want the role players who stumble upon this place to start openning
boxes like a 5 year-old at Christmas.

B) It has to be something that a Government Agency could get their hands on.
This means that items that were created, used, and destroyed without any
Government Agent ever hearing about it, won’t be in the warehouse. This
does not necessarily refer to the U.S. Government. The Global Conspiracy
has its tentacles in all Governments, and the warehouse can be potentially
anywhere on the planet.

C) If the item is known to have been destroyed then the warehouse will only
contain the remnants, photographs, eye witness accounts, or other surviving
remnants. In some cases it will contain a working model, plans, or a
successful attempt to duplicate the item in question.

D) The warehouse is a contemporary structure. Although it houses several time
machines, they are not used by the Collection Agency in its work. This
means that objects from the far future will not be in the warehouse, unless
that object was transported back in time by other forces.

E) In the same vein, objects from the far side of the universe will also not be
found in the structure, unless they are the sorts of things a spacefaring
race would be likely to carry around.

F) The item must be something that the Government would want to hide away in
the warehouse. Simply being rare and valuable is not sufficient. The
classes of items that are collected are:

1) Things that would be dangerous in the hands of the general public.
This includes most James Bond type miniature weapons systems,
Telepathic helmets, Teleportation beams, and the like.

2) Things that would embarrass the government if they were known.
This is why most of the conspiracy stuff is in the warehouse. Things
like the missing parts of the Nixon tapes, the details on the October
Surprise, the failed assasination attempt on Santa Claus, and other
Bloopers, Blunders and Government gaffes.

3) Things that weaken the Government’s control on the people.
Things falling in this category are cold fusion devices, perpetual
motion machines, cars that don’t need gasoline and food plants that
can grow anywhere without tending.

4) Things that the scientists haven’t figured out yet.
This includes most futuristic and alien stuff. The fully detailed
photographs of “the face on Mars”, showing laser burns and such, the
notes of the doctors who examined ET, a near-complete copy of
“The Red Book of Westmarch”

5) Surprises for other countries, in case of attack.
Here we have the assorted treaty-violating weapons, such as the
speaker stacks from a Disaster Area concert, orbital mind-control
lasers, prototype phaser weapons, and details on various Doomsday
Machines.

In general, you should assume that if the warehouse’s doors were thrown open,
whoever isn’t vaporized or eaten would:

1) Tear down all authority with their bare hands.
2) Be forced to reevaluate everything they know about Life, the
Universe and Everything
3) Be scared witless

[[ A quick thanks to Travis McCord who pointed out the need for me to post these
criteria, and whom I’ve just shamelessly plagiarized. 🙂 ]]

Since this list is far from complete, it contains various editorial notes;
mainly pleas for approval or cries for extra detail. These notes will be set
aside from the main text, by being enclosed in double square brackets,
[[ like the note just above ]].

One final note for the humor impaired: What follows is all a joke. No one is
expected to take any of this seriously. No bias, either for or against any
particular group should be infered from an object’s inclusion in this list.
The only criteria used for deciding which things will be found in the warehouse
are those posted above.

[Addendum to the Warehouse List:
Who’dathunk that less than two years after we slapped this baby
together on the old rec.games.frp, a show would come along that would
make all this worthwhile. I am of course referring to the X-Files, a show
that weekly shows the weirdness outside of the window, and gives us reason
to fear the government yet again.
In this addendum, I’ve endeavored to clean up some of the problem
points, as well as add a few that have cropped up in recent months. Once
again, any help in making this top-of-the-line is appreciated. Don’t quote
whole cloth; just append where necessary, and I’ll try to collate the
revisions.
From time to time, I’ve also considered “clearing house,” deleting items
that, IMO, would NOT be in this kind of warehouse, such as Stormbringer. As far
as I am aware, there’s really no reason for Stormbringer to exist in this
reality, except to say, “Cool! Stormbringer!” However, I respect the hard work
and suggestions of others, and have let them stand
The bottom half of the message consist of One-liners (theoretically
humorous items) and Stumpers, which are usually more fun to figure out on your
own. However, in the interest of making this resource useful, I will, where
possible, include a reference to what precisely this all means in brackets {}

-Timothy Toner [email protected]]

And so, without further ado, here’s the warehouse:

===============================

Background
———-

The world is actually being run by a coalition of secret societies and cabals,
known (to a few) as the Global Conspiracy. This group long ago decided that
certain knowledges and materials are too disruptive to be allowed to fall into
subversive hands. These materials were also considered to be too potentially
useful to be destroyed. Instead, a secret warehouse was established in which to
store these dangerous items and a covert task force, known as the Collection
Agency, was formed to oversee their procurement and storage. This task force
has grown increasingly more conservative over the years, and as a result, many
items have been stored away on the pretext that it is better to be safe than
sorry. If the Collection Agency determines that you have an object that would
be better off in more responsible hands, then you would be well advised to
simply give it up. Remember, they have the full resources of the warehouse to
back them up, should they become desperate.

The Warehouse
————-

The Warehouse is a huge structure, divided into three major areas. Each area is
used to hold items which present different storage problems. The first area is
for items which require no special treatment, the second area is for items that
need to be kept cold in order to be properly preserved, and the third area is
for items which require a constant power supply. A crude ASCII map should give
the right idea:

+——————————–
| Area ‘A’ – Main Storage ! Area ‘B’ |
| ! Refrigerated Storage |
| ! |
| Assume a uniform ceiling height of 20m (60 ft) ! |
| ! |
| Scale: 1 square = ~3m (10 ft) ! |
| ! |
| Legend: ! |
| + Wall Intersection # |
| – Horizontal, solid wall (armored) +———————-+
| | Vertical, solid wall (armored) | Power Generators |
| O External security door (armored) | and Refrigerators |
| = Huge external cargo door (armored) +—
| ! Mobile internal wall panel # |
| # Human-sized door in a mobile wall panel ! Area ‘C’ |
| ! Powered Storage |
| ! |
| ! |
| ! |
| # |
+–============——————–

Area ‘A’, the first area is, by far, the largest. It is maintained at a
constant temperature of 15 C (60 F) and a constant humidity of 10%.
[[ I assume that these are reasonable conditions for bulk storage. Does anyone
know better? ]]

Area ‘B’ is an enormous refrigerator. It is separated from the Area ‘A’ by a
wall of insulated panels. The panels are mounted in tracks on the floor and
ceiling, and are hinged where they join. They can be folded away so as to form
a large opening for cargo to be moved in or out. There is a motor provided for
this purpose, with controls on the only section of the right hand wall of Area
‘A’ that is not mobile. At each end of the refrigerator is a normal sized door
to allow folks in or out without having to move the walls. The interior of the
refrigerator is kept at a frigid -60 C (-76 F) at all times.

Area ‘C’ is just slightly smaller than Area ‘B’. It contains all of the items
which require some form of active environmental protection. This includes all
machinery which the collection agency could not (or dared not) turn off.
This section also houses all of the equipment that is regularly used by the
warehouse, or its staff. Like Area ‘B’, this area also has mobile walls, and a
motor to move them.

Staff
—–
[[
I’ve gotten lots of suggestions for staff members here. Everyone from Elvis to
Warhol. At the moment, I don’t have anyone in particular running the place.
Why not send me your vote for favorite custodian. Folks already suggested are:
Andy Warhol
Jimmy Hoffa
Elvis Presley
Santa Claus
Andy Kaufman
]]

Packaging
———

Any item in Area ‘A’ of the warehouse that is smaller than about 3m (10 feet)
on a side is sealed in a wooden crate. There are several huge crates in the
area but most of the larger items are either laying exposed on pallets, or are
covered by tarpaulins. No crate is smaller than 60 cm (2 feet) on a side,
regardless of the size of the contents. All crates are strongly reinforced,
since they are stacked 20 deep in places.

All of the items in the refrigerated section are sealed in crates to avoid ice
evaporation. This is a storage regulation, so even articles which contain no
ice, but need to be stored cold, will be in crates.

There are far fewer items in section ‘C’, than in the other sections. Since the
items in this section require some sort of constant upkeep, none of them are
stored in crates. Instead, each item has a custom metal cabinet that folds
aside to reveal the contents. All of the cabinets are locked, and only the
custodian has the keys. (The cabinets would not be particularly difficult to
break into). A few of the truely large items in this area are not fully
enclosed, but merely have a cabinet built around their control sections.

Markings
——–

Most crates and cabinets in the warehouse bare no markings other than a
standard identification code. A few containers have warnings about fragile
contents, or which end must be placed up. Workers in this warehouse have been
thoroughly impressed by the dangers of ignoring these warnings. As a
consequence, all warnings, no matter how strange, are rigidly followed.

The identification codes that are used is a varient on the standard US military
scheme. Each code is in the form:

XXX-NNNN-PP

where XXX is a three letter code, NNNN is a item number within that three-letter
code grouping, and PP is an optional part number for items which have been
disassembled and stored in several crates. Most crates have a four digit item
number, since less than 10,000 items were expected to be found in any one
category. In the cases where this has proved false, extra digits have been
added.

[[ I’m not totally happy with what follows. Even using broad categories, I can
easily list more than 26 common purposes for items. And Principals of Operation
can sometimes be REAL hard to figure out. 🙂 ]]

The three letter codes are interpreted as follows:

First letter – Purpose

A Analysis Object analyzes or describes other objects
B Battle Object is intended to be used in battle
C Control Object extends users control to other objects
D Data Object contains or is a large collection of information
E Evidence Object is evidence supporting a theory or claim
F Specimen Object is to be subjected to further investigation later
G Generation Object produces matter or energy
H Repair Object maintains or repairs other objects
I Invocation Object helps secure a supernatural being’s favor or blessing
J Enjoyment Object is designed to bring pleasure or entertain.
K Transformation Object converts one thing into another
L Logic Object performs calculations or computations.
M Model Object is a (possibly working) scale model of something
N Nourishment Object is intended to provide food
O Observation Object gathers information via some sensing method
P Propulsion Object is intended to move objects it is attached to
Q Duplication Object is intended to replicate other objects
R Regulation Object governs the actions of another object
S Summoning Object produces the physical form of a supernatural being
T Transportation Object moves material, while remaining stationary
U Universal Object is capable of an enormous range of operations
V Vehicle Object’s main purpose is transportation of people or cargo
W Misc Any purpose not covered elsewhere.
X Unknown No known purpose for this object
Y Not applicable Concept of purpose is not compatible with this object
Z Reflexive Object provides purpose

Second letter – Principal of Operation

A Atomic Works by harnessing nuclear forces
B Biological Object is biological, or has biological components
C Complex Machine Uses electronic, electric and mechanical principles
D Divine works due to intersession of a supernatural force or god
E Electromagnetic Works due to electromagnetic principals
F Flow Works by controlling flow of a substance
G Gravitic Works by harnessing Gravitational forces
H Modifies Laws Works by modifying physical laws
I Inert Object is an inert substance with interesting properties
J Chemical Object works by chemical reactions
K Kinetic Works through manipulation of kinetic energy
L Logic Flaw Object works despite the fact that it clearly cannot
M Magical Object uses mystical forces
N Nanotechnology Object is constructed of billions of tiny robots
O Physical Law Works by obeying simple laws of physics (eg. boats float)
P Psychic Operates using mental energy
Q Quantum Works at a sub-atomic level
R Recursive Object works due to effects caused by its operation
S Simple Machine Works via cogs, levers, pulleys, springs, etc.
T Temporal Object manipulates time
U Solid State Object is a solid-state electronic device
V Environmental Object interacts with its environment in unique ways
W Misc Any operating principal not covered elsewhere
X Unknown No known pricipal of operation
Y Not applicable Principal of operation is not an object-compatible concept
Z Reflexive Object is acted upon, it does not act itself

Third letter – Method of Use

A Autonomous Object is self activated and self controlled
B Bi-state Object is either OFF or ON, it has no other controls
C Consumed Object must be consumed or injected to have effect
D Directed Object accepts commands and attempts to carry them out
E Extension Object behaves as an extension of the users body
F
G
H Hand operated Object’s control surface is manipulated by hand
I Installed Object must be installed or inserted in other equipment
J
K
L Logic Program Object must be carefully programmed before use
M Material Object is a raw material in some process
N
O
P Piloted Object requires continuous operation of controls to function
Q
R Ritualistic Object is operated by ritual gestures, words or activities
S
T Telepathic Object obeys thoughts or desires of user
U Uncontrolled Object is in continuous operation, and cannot be turned off
V
W Misc Methods of use not covered elsewhere
X Unknown No method of use is known for this object
Y Not applicable Method of Use is not a concept compatible with this object
Z Reflexive Object controls user

Entry Format
————

The idividual entries that follow are all in the same form:

XXX-NNNN-PP Area AA
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Where:

XXX-NNNN-PP is the identification code
AAA is the storage area, one of: ‘A’, ‘B’ or ‘C’
CCCCC is the container type, one of: Crate, Tarp, Pallet or Cabinet
SSS is the size in centimeters (length, then width, then height)
WWWWWWWWWW is any warning text that may be on the container
TTTTTTTTTT is detailed explanatory text on the object

Eventually, all measurements will be in both metric and imperial. Bare with me.

Warehouse Contents
——————

IDR-5626 Area ‘A’ Crate 150x200x150
[Note: This is the official designation. The box does not bear any sort of
stencil, since all markings on the outside of the box are eventually
obliterated by the Ark]
Ark of the Covenant
Called the “Aron Haberit” in Hebrew, this ornate, gold-plated wooden chest
was built to hold the two tablets given to Moses by God. The Ark was only ever
opened by the High Priest of the Temple during Yom Kippur. The Isrealites
occasionaly took the Ark into battle with them to insure the favor of God.
As shown in the movie “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, anyone opening the Ark would
release Angelic beings so beautiful that those looking upon them would die.
Presumably there are other uses for the Ark.
In the Old Testament, there is a account of a group of non-Levites (Levites
were the Hebrew priest caste) who recovered the Ark after it was lost in a
battle. At one point, the cart they were using to carry it back teetered, and
the Ark began to slide off. One of the non-Levites moved to catch it, and was
struck dead on the spot. It is presumed that the WWII incident occurred during
a state of relative dormancy, though it should be noted that the US government
went through an extensive search to find Levite warehouse workers who would help
put it in storage. {Raiders of the Lost Ark}
[[ I know nothing about Jewish culture, or Christian theology, so the above was
taken from memories of the movie, and my Encyclopedia. ]]

RFI-0076 Area ‘A’ Crate 60x60x60
100 MPG Carburetor
This automobile carburetor makes use of venturi vortex phenomena in order to
provide a gas/fuel mixture which is much leaner than provided by an ordinary
carburetor, but which, nevertheless, burns just as well. This leads to
greatly increased gas mileage, as much as a 350% improvement in many cases.
This item has been long suppressed, since the fuel shortage is a major method
used to control the world populace.
[[ I’ve heard of this gadget hundreds of times. Does anyone have a more
‘authoritative’ description, than my memory? ]]

BCP-0107 Area ‘A’ Pallet 600x600x400
BCP-0108 Area ‘A’ Pallet 600x600x400
BCP-0109 Area ‘A’ Pallet 600x600x400
Martian War Machines (3)
After the failed Martian invasion at Grovers Mills on October 30, 1938
as described by Orson Wells in his classic broadcasts, several of the Martian
war machines were recovered and placed in the warehouse. A successful
coverup campaign managed to convince most of the world that the broadcasts had
been a hoax, or a radio play.
The devices appear to be large metal tripods, 30 ft. tall, with
retractable, prehensile limbs. Two main weapons were the notorious “heat ray,”
which consisted of a mirror and a hitherto unknown energy source, and several
cannisters of a highly toxic substance that acts as a contact poison. Not even
full biowarfare gear can protect the user from exposure. The agent is
administered in a great cloud, which kills in seconds. However, the cloud is
extremely dense, and highly unstable. Within hours, the components disperse,
leaving the area breathable.
{War of the Worlds, short story, movie, and TV series, and Invasion from
Mars, radio play}

FBY-0003 Area ‘B’ Crate 250x200x75
Dead Martians (3)
Each of the Martian War Machines (see PCB-0107) had a crew of [[2??]] and
after the crew had succumbed to Earthly diseases, the bodies were collected for
examination. Three bodies were preserved for future research.
The creatures consisted of three armed tripeds, with three digits on all
extremities. Their three eyes were compound, and their skin was a mottled
brown-to-scarlet. {Ibidem}

VXP-0015-?? Area ‘A’
Parts of a cut up UFO from “My Science Project”
[[ Various weird parts need to be invented. ]]

TTL-0002 Area ‘A’
Smashed pieces of the time gizmo from “The Philedelphia Experiment” {The
Philadelphia Experiment}

WEB-0001-26 Area ‘A’ PALL
Dissembled pieces of the actual gizmo from The Philadelphia Experiment

During WWII, the USN worked on a process whereby a large metal object would
be subjected to a massive electromagnetic field by transduction, in order to
affect the flow of radio waves around the object. The hope was to create a
primitive stealth technology for the extemely primitive radar systems then
entering the war.
The experiment worked all too well; the ship’s powerful field interacted with
the earth’s field, and transported the ship some 200 miles instantaneously. How
this precisely occurred is unknown. The only proof is the eyewitness account of
one Gregory Allende, supposedly on the ship, a newspaper account discussing a
bar brawl in Norfolk, VA between bar patrons and several members of the crew of
the USS Philadelphia, which should have been 200 miles away that night in
Philadelphia!
Allende, who received a Section 8 discharge from the service, claimed
that several crewmates suffered horrendous side-effect from the experiment,
including spontaneous human combustion, discorporation, and even
disintegration. Crewmembers were treated simultaneously for frostbite and
third-degree burns soon after the experiment. Most went insane, which would
explain Allende’s actions, and all are dead now, most from various forms of
cancer.

GAI-
Engine that runs on tap water

G[CSEL][BU]- Area ‘A’
A whole bunch of perpetual motion dohickeys.
[[ Most of these gizmos will be in Area ‘A’, but a few (any of type GR_ for
instance) will be in Area ‘C’ since they cannot be shut off without breaking
them. If anyone can send me a list of different PM attempts, and/or some
references then I could fill this section in more fully. ]]

DZH
Conspiracy theory books that were too close to the truth.
The Compleat Charles Fort
[[ Does anyone have a good list of conspiracy theory books that are out
there? We should have at least a dozen. ]]

QBA-0623 Area ‘A’
Full body cloning machine
This consists of two man-sized glass tubes connected by a large amount of
piping, tubing and machinery. There are no visible controls. The machine has
a self-contained power supply (cold fusion). The right-hand tube has a
door-latch on it, while the left-hand tube does not. If someone steps into the
first tube, and the door is closed, then a clone will rapidly grow in the
second tube. In less than an hour, a the clone tube will open, and an exact
copy of the original will step out. The clone will have the clothing,
manerisms, scars and memories of the original. It will be very difficult to
tell them apart. (Note that this is clearly a movie-tradition cloning machine,
rather than something with a bit more sound science behind it.)

RTB-0007 Area ‘C’
A rack of 16 stasis booths
This is a large bank of man-sized glass tubes. It requires continuous
energy to operate. If its power is ever removed, then all of the folks in the
booths will wake up. Nine of the twelve tubes already have occupants. Each
occupant has a code number. The codes and occupants are:
UBA-0002 Al Capone
UBA-0003 J. F. Kennedy
UBA-0005 Hitler
UBA-0006 Elvis
UBA-0007 Hitler
UBA-0009 Elvis
UBA-0010 Elvis
UBA-0017 Jimmy Hoffa

EIY-0098
Fragments of metal from Amelia Earhart’s plane and a lab report.
The lab report indicates that the metal fragments were from the wing tips
of Amelia Earhart’s plane, and were found on a desert island. Analysis shows
the pieces were subjected to great amounts of stress along a single axis.
Residual traces of unusual energy patterns were also found. The report
concludes that Amelia’s plane was either caught in the tractor beam of a flying
saucer, or fell through a dimensional rift.

DZH-9615
A package of detailed plans for controlling the world by manipulating the
world food and energy shortages

GBA-0614
Experimental seeds for a plant that grows rapidly in salt water and produces
highly nutritional tubers, that could solve the worlds food problems.

BCP-0204
BCP-0205
2 Prototypes of the Avro Arrow Fighter plane.

VXP-0009
The UFO from Hanger 3 of Wright-Patterson AFB. [[Does anyone have a
description of this?]]

FBY-1006 Area ‘B’
A caveman, as in the movie “Iceman”

FBY-1007 Area ‘B’
A Mamoth, in a block of ice. It was eating buttercups at the time it froze.

FBY-1008 Area ‘B’
A hideous alien frozen in ice.
This is “The Thing” from the story by John Carpenter, and the movie of the
same name.

FBY-1009
A collection of giant insects, ranging from an ant from Them!, the spider from
Tarantula, and the giant Prey Mantis killed in the Holland Tunnel.

FBY-1010 Area ‘C’
The Blob
A great crystalline glop, clear red in color, about the size of a house.
It is stored in a plexiglass case (inside the crate). From the movie “The Blob”

PJH-1602
The Cirrus X-3 jetpack, fireproof suit and helmet
This was built by the Government according to a set of plans they managed to
aquire. This jetpack and suit are identical to those shown in the movie
“Rocketeer”. The jetpack burns pure alcohol, and holds about 2l, enough for
1 hour of flight. [[ Size of fuel compartment, and flight times are just off
the top of my head. Anyone have any better numbers? ]]

FBY- Area ‘C’
A number of clear cylinders full of bubbling liquid, and parts of people
and aliens. One container contains Hitler’s brain. Another holds a creature
from the movie “Aliens”, in the facehugger shape. [[ What other living specimens
should there be? ]]

NIC-0007
An artificial sweetner that tastes exactly like sugar, has no side effects,
and no calories.

EBY-0602
A fosilized Dinosaur bone with a bullet imbeded in it.

EXY-0107
A set of moon rocks that beep when exposed to moonlight (from an episode of
“Green Acres”).

GJI-0010
Cheap batteries that can put out full power for 25 years.

GAH-0078
A cold fusion electrical generator.

GAH-0079
A machine that eats nuclear waste, gives off power, and produces inert
materials.

HBC-0011
A Cure for the common cold.

FBY-0901
A diorama contrasting the bodies of a Yeti and a Bigfoot. Both bodies are
stuffed and mounted in ‘lifelike’ poses.

FBY-0002
The skeleton of a Merman.

FBY-0009
The skeleton of the missing link. [[How could anyone tell?]]

IDA-0034
The Holy Grail

BMH-0016
Excalibur {Arthurian Legend}
A broadsword from roughly 1000 AD with a woman’s hand still gripping
the handle

BMH-0017
Dyrnwyth {Mabignogian, Prydain Chronicles}

FBY-0012
The Loch Ness Monster (stuffed)

VIP-0106
Noah’s Ark

BMH-0018
The Spear of Destiny
This is suposedly the spear (wielded by Casca 🙂 ) that was shoved into the
side of Jesus while he was on the cross. There are also rumors that it may have
once belonged to Odin.
The Spear of Destiny resufaced from time to time in European history.
According to legend, any leader who wielded it into battle simply could not
lose. One now understands Hitler’s fixation with it.

_M_
Der Ring De Niebelungen
[[ What is this, and what does it do? ]]

HMC-0002
Water from the Fountain of Youth

WKH-0002
Paul Bunyan’s Axe
[[ Just how big would this be, anyway, 10m long?? ]]

DZH-0022
The Necronomicon by Abd ul’hazred [[ spelling? ]]

DZH-0023
DZH-0027
DZH-0096
Plans for an ftl drive.

The Smoot Drive:
This device works by teleporting an object one “smoot” (1 atomic radius)
in a given direction. Repeating the cycle fast enough gives the illusion of
motion, but motion without inertia. {Open Space, comic book}
[[ Does anyone know of any good ftl drive descriptions to put in here? ]]

MQI-0023
A model of an ftl drive (plastic cut-away).
[[ Suggestions, anyone? ]]

MHI-0016
A working model of an ftl drive.
Will have to be scaled up in order to move anything more massive than about
20 kg. [[ Suggestions? ]]

PQI-0009
Prototype FTL drive, built from the plans labeled DZH-0023

PHI-0010
A prototype Warp drive.

RWD-0034
Rover, the security ball from the “Prisoner” TV show.
Rover is a 2m diameter, translucent white balloon, that roars, and can roll
and bounce faster than a man. It attacks by englobing and suffocating its
victim. It can either render someone unconcious and carry them, or kill them
outright. It has a rudimentary brain, since it can understand some simple
orders.

CHP-0055 Area ‘C’
Dimensional transmogrifier
This unit is regularly used by the warehouse maintenance staff. It
manipulates the physical space of the warehouse, so that it may appear in a
variety of locations, of different sizes. One week warehouse’s entrance will
be underneath the Statue of Liberty, the next it will be in the middle of the
Arizona Desert.

DZI-0016
Secret Kennedy Kidnapping Film
A film reel of the JFK ‘assasination’ taken from close by, and in front of,
the main procession. The film clearly shows Kennedy being shot from the front,
but with a strange dart. It also reveals that bodies were switched within a
second of JFK collapsing. The film case is marked with a CIA file number, and
the words TOP SECRET.

DZH-0017
Collected JFK evidence from the National Archives.
All testimonies, photographs and lab reports which lent doubt to the
official story of the JFK assasination were collected and stored here.
Contents include the complete Zapruder film, the Director’s cut of Oliver
Stone’s JFK, as well as a tape-recorded interview with a witness who saw quite
distinctly a plume of smoke coming from the grassy knoll.
[[ Anyone want to provide details? ]]

DZI-0019
Intact Copies of the Watergate Tapes
[[ What interesting tidbits should be on these? ]]
The Plumber’s uncovered the truth: that Nixon was really a Communist
stooge, a la The Manchurian Candidate. Liddy forces Nixon to resign, or all
will come clean. Liddy continually refers to someone else other than Nixon as
“his Prince.”

DZH-0019
Documents on the Iran/Contra connection
[[ I’m not a conspiracy buff. Who wants to help out here? ]]
Fairly simple: Lt. Col. Oliver North sent money earmarked to help the
Contras in their war against the Sandinistas in Nicaragua to Iran in the form of
weapons, etc., in exchange for influence in helping obtain the release of
several prisoners. This occurred in the middle of Reagan’s worst sabre-rattling
tirades, with promises that we would not cave in to terrorism.

DZH-0020
Documents on the October Surprise conspiracy
During the 1980 Presidential campaign, the GOP sensed that they could
grab the presidency, but they needed to make Carter look ineffectual. Iran was
close to caving in to sanctions, imposed because they still held Americans
hostage. The GOP promised to look favorably on Iran and reward certain well
placed Iranaian officials if they would forestall the release of the hostages
(due to be released during October of 1980), until after the election. True to
their word, the Iranians relased the hostages during Reagan’s inaugural speech,
thus making it historic.

DZH-0021
Documents on the BCCI, S&L and contra connection
[[ Again, any takers? ]]

DZH-0096
CIA reports on their drug running operations

DZH-0015
The CIA after-action report on its successful kidnapping of JFK

DZH-0023
The CIA after-action report and full laboratory procedure book on
the creation of the AIDS virus in government labs, including the
procedure for creating a cure/vaccine

DZH-0003
Text of simple geometric procedure for trisecting any angle

DZH-0002
The manuscript of Fermat’s Last Theorem
This item was recently discovered missing, and presumed stolen.

EIY-0008
D. B. Cooper paraphenalia
Includes an empty money bag, a parachute, and a high-quality latex mask of
D. B. Cooper’s features. D. B. Cooper was the first person to try highjacking
a plane for money. (His actual name is unknown; the name he gave when buying
the plane ticket was “D. B. Cooper”.) It was back around 1970; he got into the
cockpit with a gun and demanded $250,000 and a parachute. He got the money
and chute at Seattle, and somewhere between Seattle and Portland, Oregon he went
out the emergency escape in the tail of the plane. He has not been seen since.
Some of his money was found back in the mid-80’s in a bag by a lake in the
forests of southern Washington, and so many folks think it likely that he did
not survive his jump (the 727 was flying rather high and fast for the kind of
jumping he would have had to try), but D. B. himself, and over half the money,
is still missing. I recall that there was a bar here in Seattle in the late
70’s, I think, that took Cooper’s name and made him into something of a cult
hero, holding a big bash the night the statute of limitations ran out on the
sky-jacking charge (Cooper was the first, so the harsh laws on sky-jacking had
not yet been enacted), and offering something if D. B. actually showed up. If
he did, he came incognito.

EIY-0012
The Czar’s missing crown jewels
[[ Does anyone have any idea why this would be in the warehouse? ]]

JZH-0003
The Killer Joke
Copies of the World’s Funniest Joke from the Monty Python Skit. There is an
English, and a German version. Both versions are sealed in envelopes, with the
warning not to open an envelope if you speak the language of the version inside.
The joke is so funny that anyone reading or hearing the joke will die laughing
within 5 minutes. Even a few words of the joke can prove debilitating. {Monthy
Python}

BCP-0037
A supersonic intercontinental jet bomber developed by the Nazis
Luckily this bomber was captured long before it could ever be used.

DZH-0034
Expedition reports from the Hollow Earth
Photographs, journals and other report materials from an expedition to
the inside of the Earth via the hole at the North Pole.

DZH-0029
Santa Claus’s security clearance application materials
Santa was only granted a low-level security clearance due to clear communist
tendencies, evidenced by his giving away of toys.

DZH-0012
The Last Order of Lenin
The Last Order of Lenin was a deathbed statement by Lenin, which was
supposedly an order that Stalin was to be purged, or prevented by the Party
from ever reaching power. At least this was the story cultivated by Stalin’s
enemies and picked up outside the USSR to vilify him more as a renegade.
Stalin’s people suppressed the order, if it ever existed, and officially, I
have heard, the Last Order was a typically Leninesque harangue for the Party,
etc., and unofficially (but the approved unofficial version) a secret plan of
his to further the spread of Communism throughout the world. The last order,
however, was far more sinister than most suppose…
According to most sources, the last command was to dismantle the whole
thing. The dictatorship of the proletariat would be far from temporary, and
thus the experiment was a failure. All who disagreed were to be executed.
[[ What should his last Orders have been? Suggestions? ]]

IDY-0009
The True Cross

DZH-0098
An English-Dolphin translator’s dictionary

LUP-0016
Plans and Prototype Supercomputer
Using room temperature superconductors, this little baby packs the power of
several Cray XMP’s into what appears to be a coke can. The can has a spot at
one end for two AA cells to be inserted. The other end of the cylinder is an
area of what appears to be metallic putty, or perhaps viscous mercury. This is,
in fact, a universal I/O port. Any data cable can be pushed down into the
malleable surface, and the computer will figure out whats on the other end, and
how to talk to it. Dispite its malleability, the putty cannot be removed from
the end of the can, without exerting enough force to break the computer.

   BMH-0009
Stormbringer
A black sword, with red runes on it, unearthed in western Canada with a
petrified human skeleton. The sword is dated as being older than the
earth where it was found. Researchers tested the sword to find out what
it was made of, but it defied their efforts. Everyone who touched the
sword died.

BQH-0002
The Phaser that got left behind in “City on the edge of Forever”
[[ Was there a phaser left behind in that episode? ]]

ECI-0023
A mangled T800 arm (Terminator 2).
This is the arm of the T800 robot that was played by Arnold Swarzenegger in
the movie “Terminator 2”

UBD-0045
The Monkey’s Paw (from “The Monkey’s Paw”)
This item was said to grant three wishes, acting on them as literally and
linear as possible. For instance, the first thing wished for was $10,000. Soon
after, the wisher received word that her son had died in a car crash, leaving
her his $10,000 insurance policy.

VXP-0008
The UFO that purportedly crashed in the early ’50s in Roswell, New Mexico

EIY-0017
What’s left of Flight 19
Flight 19 was a squadron of five Avenger torpedo-bombers which set out
for a routine training mission from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Despite clear skies and
an experienced flight leader, the planes disappeared completely. Radio
operators on the ground report receiving intermittant signals from the lead
plane, informing them that their compasses were spinning, and that they would
attempt to head toward the sun (which, at that time, would have been west).
Further reports show that the leader did not recognize what should have been
familiar terrain. The last known recording was recieved right before they
passed over the unfamiliar land.

EIY-0023
Lump of coal with a spark plug in it.

EIY-0049
Piece of sandstone with a dinosaur footprint overlaying a human footprint.

UMM-0001
The Philosopher’s Stone

KAP-0002
Papa Schimmelhorn’s lead-into-gold machine
The machine was never calibrated. It is currently set to turn all gold in a
3 km radius into lead. It would take a fair amount of work to calibrate it
properly.

GAH-0034
A small nuclear (hot) fusion generator

BAH-0011
A prototype of the Ghostbuster’s proton packs.

ENA-0001
A rough ingot of steel
This is the steel that the T1000 fell into. It contains a few isolated
pockets of nanomachines that had managed to build insulating barriers. The
n-agent clusters are probably too small to show any collective intelligence…
{Terminator 2}

FBA-0002
A sample of Xenovirus Takis-A
This is the Wild Card virus which was dumped over New York City in 1946.
The virus, which appears to be a red dust, comes as spores which
reproduce only within homo sapiens sapiens, and all genetically compatible alien
races. It possessed an aerosol vector, which allows it to be initially very
contagious, but only in spore form. The virus is a higly complex recombitant
DNA tool kit, taking the genome, and snipping and splicing in inherently random
conformations.
This randomness, however, seems anything but. Most who are affected
(90%), carry the virus without any incident. Of the 10% who are infected, 90%
pull the “Black Queen,” which is catastrophic mutagentic transformation. The
victim’s DNA sompletely dismantles under the strain, and the host dies in agony.
Of the 10% who survive, 90% pull a “Joker,” and are hideously disfigured. Most
live the rest of their lives shunned and feared. Those that survive the Black
Queen, and do not become Jokers are called Aces, endowed with soem
superhuman metability. Most are mental powers, including strength
augmentation through telekinesis. About half the Aces are Deuces, in that their
powers are less than earth shattering (changing color at will, bending
paperclips, etc.)
Although result seems random, there is a method to the madness of the
Wild Card. It seems inherently sentient in spore form, with the recombinant DNA
responding to subconscious triggers. If one fears death, one will pull the
black Queen. If one fears disfigurement, one will pull a Joker. For those who
have the mental stability and wherewithal, an Ace power awaits.
{Wild Cards Anthology}

CVH-0034
A Cloudbuster
This is the rainmaking machine shown in the Kate Bush video “Cloudbusting”,
which was based on the publications of Wilhelm Reich

O_H-0501
An N-ray detector
N-rays were a theoretic particle discovered by French physicist Rene-
Prosper Blondlot, which fell in an unknown location in the electromagnetic
spectrum. Similar in nature to the x-ray, the N-ray was not deflected by lead,
but could be stopped by a sheet of water. Rather than radioactive substances,
living things gave off n-rays, and exposure to n-rays supposedly enhanced the
nervous system, allowing for heightened senses and sped-up reflexes.

DZH-0001
The Octavo
This is the Creator’s spell book. It contains the Eight spells that he used
to create the entire universe.

DZH-0002
The True Name of God
Written on the pages of this indestructable book, the name of God grants
the speaker complete control over reality. The name can, of course, be unsaid.
{Warlock}.

PMU-0007
A jewlry case containing 3 Green Rings and 3 Yellow Rings
These are the transport rings that are used to reach the Woods between the
Worlds. The Woods is an interdimensional nexus full of shallow pools. If
someone steps into a pool while wearing a green ring, they will be transported
to the universe that corresponds to that pool. If they touch a yellow ring
while in any normal universe, them and the yellow ring end up in the Woods.
Descriptions of the rings and how they work can be found in “The Magicians
Nephew”, by C. S. Lewis.

IDR-0023
A Pair of Huge Ivory Tusks
These are the tusks of Malima Temboz, The Mountain That Walks, the largest
elephant tusks ever collected. The left tusk weighs 226 pounds, and the right
weighs 214 pounds. Both tusks are in excess of 3m. (All of this data is real.
The tusks are currently supposed to be stored in the British Museum of Natural
History). According to the book “Ivory” by Mike Resnick, the two tusks are
sacred to the Masaai, and their race is cursed to dwindle and die until they
have performed a blood sacrifice of an uncircumcised Masaai youth on the Ivory.

LUA-0023
A sentient computer in the shape of a book.
This is from the book “Roadmarks” by Roger Zelazny. The book is the twin to
“Leaves of Grass”, but I can’t remember its name.

IDR-0100
The first Deryni Altar
The categorization of this artifact is difficult, since Deryni magic
partakes of both the Divine and the Psychic. This Altar is a huge cube that
appears to be made up of 8 smaller cubes, 4 black and 4 white. The cubes are
arranged in an alternating checkerboard, so that each cube of one color has an
opposite color cube touching each of 3 faces.

TJH-0002

Smartcom for Windows LE

The Preserving Machine
This machine is designed to input important data (such as digitized
pictures of masterpiece paintings, the text for Shakespeare’s plays and so
forth) and encode the information into DNA sequences. It then produces a living
animal that carries the information in its genes. If one of these animals is
fed into the machine before enough generations have gone by for evolution to
have changed the codes, then the original data can be retrieved. [[ This
machine is apparantly from an old science fiction novel, but the person that
suggested it cannot remember many of the details. Can anyone out there help? ]]

FBY- Area ‘C’
Frozen Dinosaur Eggs, with documentation
The documents encased with the egg are the reports of an expedition to
Africa in 1982. There are pictures of what appear to be dwarf diplodocus’
and a mention that the eggs were stolen from a nest.
These may be samples from the Mokole Membe.
[[ Is such a species known to paleontologists? ]]

EIY-
A chunk of metal, of an unknown alloy
Papers with it indicate that it is mildly radioactive, and that it was
discovered in 1911 during an expedition to investigate the Tunguska blast.

UCD-
A Series of eight bodies on stone benches, under a tarpaulin
The benches hold deactivated robots. The faces of some of the robots are
familiar, and some are not. The slabs are labeled (from right to left)
Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan I, Ronald Reagan II, George Bush, Newt Gingrich,
John Barrens, Simon McAuly. The robot on the Ronald Reagan I slab has clearly
stopped working due to a number of bullet wounds to the head and chest. The
George Bush and Newt Gingrich robots are missing.

RTF-
A cryogenic suspension chamber holding Walt Disney

DKI
An old fashined long-playing record
According to the blurb on the dust jacket, it contains recordings of, among
other things, Beethoven’s Eleventh Symphony, and all of the Unfinished Symphony
[[ What other nonexistant classical music should be on there? ]]

VTH
A phone booth with an odd antenna on top, and a San Dimas, CA number {Bill
and Ted’s Excellent Journey}

XXX
A blue British police call box, locked
The Government folks have no idea what this thing is supposed to be, but it
has proved invulnerable to all attempts to open it. It has been in the
warehouse for at least 20 years. {Dr. Who}

WIE
A tight-fitting blue costume with a big red “S” on the chest.
The costume appears to be non-porous, elastic, and completely invulnerable
to all attempts to take a sample for analysis. {Superman}

DEI
The backup tape archives from the “Terminator 2” lab

MCH
The “dean drive” which “converts angular momentum into linear momentum.”

UHP
The Infinite Improbability Generator {Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy}

LUA
HAL 9000 prototype {2001: A Space Odyssey}

LUA-0001
Deep Thought
Deep Thought was installed on Earth to monitor the progress of his greatest
creation… {Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy}

GQI
A Dark Bulb
This is a 100W Dark Bulb. When inserted into a normal light socket, it will
reduce the room illumination by the amount that a normal 100W bulb would
increase it.

GQP
A Cavitron
This complex and delicate device can be used to create ‘knot singularities’
a form of black hole that is made by knotting super-strings, rather than by
matter implosion. A knot singularity has all of the gravitational
characteristics of a normal black hole (including apparent mass), but it takes
far less energy to form, and evaporates non-explosively

VHD
The Heart of Gold
A gleaming golden spaceship containing an Infinite Improbability Drive.
{Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy}

TBC
The Tree of Life
This is a number of twisted roots resembling sweet potatoes. They are
sealed in an airtight chamber, and there are warning labels on the box that
breaking the seals is extremely dangerous. Any human over 30 [[ I think that
was the age… ]] who smells the roots will be overcome by a hunger for them
that is impossible to resist. If he manages to eat the roots, and is not too
old, [[whats the cutoff age?]] he will start a transformation into one of the
Pak. (See any one of several stories by Larry Niven, including the book
“Protector”).

Chemical formula for Polywater
Russian chemist Nikolai Fedyakin reportedly discovered a fourth state for
water (neither liquid, ice, or vapor), which seemed to act as a polymer, forming
an amorphous solid. It was theorized that if this substance was released into a
large enough body of water, it would “seed” the water, transforming it into a
slushy slime, wholly unusable.

Some plants from the Brazilian rain forest that can cure just about
anything.

Part of a Soviet Sub recovered by Howard Hughes’ Glomar Explorer back
in 1971.

one more Mohican! {Last of the Mohicans}

ET’s home phone number {E.T. The Extraterrestrial}

Gizmo, the Mogwai {Gremlins}

Uncle Martin’s Spaceship {My Favorite Martian}

Some of the Silver Marbles from “Starman”

Some lumps of kryptonite in various shades {Superman}

Any of the fun gadgets from “Wild, Wild West”

The Nautilus from “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”

Anything from Yoyodyne {Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension}

The real Shroud of Turin

The main CPU and core of Collossus {Collosus: The Forbin Project}

The perfect solar cell

The hand set from Quantum Leap that got left in 1945 (last episode)

A Typhoon-class submarine with Caterpillar Drive {The Hunt For Red October}

A searchlight with the sillouette of a bat on it {Batman}

A book entitled “To Serve Man” {The Twilight Zone}

A three-eyed fish named Blinky {The Simpsons}

A map to the lost Dutchman mine

The Marylin Monroe Diaries

The “sets and costumes” that were used to film the Apollo Moon Landing

The FBI and CIA files detailing the Career of “Special Agent Elvis”

The real contents of Al Capone’s Vault.

A bottle of the “andromedia strain” Virus.

A crate of seed pods from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”

Things left behind by the Enterprise crew from ST IV, including most of the
contents of Chekov’s pockets.

All the AV recordings made of the Mothership from Close Encounters

The Flying Dutchman.

The missing pages from the logbook of the Marie Celeste.

Gary Seven’s voice-operated typewriter.

Spock’s vacuum tube computer made in the 1930’s (?), found in flophouse.

All the books which were checked out when the Library at Alexandria burned.

A map showing where the Time Tunnel desert base’s drive-in door is located.

Miniturization machine from Fantastic Voyage

Hollow Krypton meteorite, found in Smallville, USA. Cradle inside.

Three “telepods”, non-working, along with a grotesque fly/human/metal body.

The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs (from an Asimov story, “Pate de Foi Gras”)

A Gamma Bomb {Incredible Hulk}, also the Q Bomb {The Mouse that Roared}

A working orgone energy machine
Wilhelm Reich, an Austrian therapist who eventually emigrates to the U.S.
in 1939, invented this device to collect and harness “orgone,” a universal force
that bound all things together. Generated by living things, the energy could be
gathered and redirected at sick individuals, allowing them to recover faster.
It could also be used to purify objects, and items permeated with this energy
could transmit their energy, making people attracted to one another.

A real, live unicorn

A working anti-gravity device
Thomas Edison theorized that gravity was a form of energy, or a particle,
and thus it was possible to shield an object from its influence. Theories range
from chemicals found in bird’s wings, as well as various alloys that are readily
buoyant.

a sample of Cavorite? (anti-gravitic material)

Records detailing what REALLY happened on the Hindenberg
Theorietically, the Hindenburg could have housed Nazi spies, and were
taken out in a pre-emptive strike. Or, perhaps a journalist caught wind of the
Final Solution, and the entire craft was destroyed to silence him.

A set of photographs of a tall (6’3″), muscular man wearing sunglasses.
Some appear to have been taken at a police station, the rest at a mall.
{Terminator and Terminator 2}

Pieces excavated from a stone building of Greek or early Roman design.
Found in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Many crates of bizarre super-tech weapons, all marked with swastikas.

A crate full of papers, computer disks, and models of a modified
DeLorean sports car. Among the papers is a photograph of two men
standing by a clock, dating back to 1888. In addition, there is a device,
labelled “Flux Capacitor.” It appears to have survived a train wreck. {Back to
the Future}

A green meteorite attatched to a chain, found in a sewer by the
Metropolis department of Public Works. {Superman}

Plans and a prototype of a reactionless engine. The notes say it puts
out no exhaust mass, only heat and light.

Captain America’s Shield.
A circular shield, about 3′ in diameter, with concentric red and white
rings and a star in the center on a blue field. The material is non-ferrous
metal, which seems to absorb vibrations without transforming them into another
form of energy (such as sound or heat). {Captain America}

Headpiece to the Staff of Ra
A gold medallion with raised markings on each side, and an off-center
hole holding a red crystal. {Raider’s of the Lost Ark}

Last Fragment of Krypton – Fortress of Solitude Seed
A glowing green crystal, about 10 inches long and 2.5 inches wide with
angled ends, discovered near the North Pole. {Superman}

Pi – Solved
A listing of pi which gets to a long stretch of ones and then ends

The failed prototype from the Aurora project (yet another “stealth” plane)

ICE-NINE (from Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut)

The Golden Fleece

A hen’s tooth

A calendar containing a month made up entirely of Sundays

A pillar of salt in the shape of a woman (Mrs. Lot) {Bible, Genesis}

Universal Solvent (we think) (bring your own container) (hurry) (never mind…)

The Ruby Slippers {Wizard of Oz}

H.G. Wells’ working time machine from “Time After Time”

The hover-skateboard from BTTF2

Three numbers which satisfy the equation x^3 + y^3 = z^3

A forty-two-line computer program in Ada for factorising the products
of two large primes in a short time.

Flubber! {The Absentminded Professor}

Information on contacting the Wandering Jew

A detailed map of Eden (located in Russia, natch)

A new Shakespearean Play

The true history of Ozymandias

A CD containing the binary image of the Artifical Personality “Max Headroom”

Pages torn out of a diary beloning to one “Laura Palmer” {Twin Peaks} detailing
the workings of two organizations, the “black and white lodge,” amongst other
torrid details.

Nazi flying saucers

Chips of some unknown alloy collected during Apollo missions

Monolith
A big black monolith collected by the Leakeys in Olduvai Gorge {2001:
A Space Odyssey}

A report on the Roanoke colony, in Virginia, which disappeared overnight
without a trace many centuries ago. (Or, perhaps, a meaning for the word
CROATAN which was carved into a tree there…)

The Sea Statue from “World of Ptavvs” by Niven

SHADO security badges

Victor Frankenstein’s lab equipment {Frankenstein}

Bacon’s Diary
This is the personal journal of Roger Bacon, wherein he mentions his new
project of ghostwriting plays, substantiating the claim that it was he who wrote
Shakespeare’s plays.

A prototype (or working model!) of Alpha Complex’s Computer… {Paranoia}

Robbie the robot from forbidden planet

A map of atlantis

A cyclone in a bottle

Dry water

A cylon robot {Battlestar Galactica}

A treaty giving Native Americans the possession of all the petrol fields

A portable hole

An autograph from Pope PI XIII

A stun gun

A light saber {Star Wars}

A french guy named Serge Gilette, frozen. He knocked on the wrong door to ask
to use the phone…

A preserved specimen of a closet-monster. {Bloom County}

Directions to *BLOOM* County, along with LandSat images of something called
“The Dandelion Patch.” {Bloom County}

Film footage of the Tac-Nuke used in Desert Storm

a 17-foot long scarf
Multicolored, it has a jelly baby stuck to one end. {Dr. Who}

Occillation Overthruster
Created by one Dr. Bonzai, and son, it allowed for hyperspatial
transportation into the “8th dimension.” {Buckaroo Bonsai Across the 8th
Dimension}

Complete contact info for the Banzai Institute for Strategic Thought {BBAt8D}

A full set of equipment for an Imperial Stormtrooper {Star Wars}

A biological organism that disrupts computers (A real live computer bug).

Seven league boots.

Unexpurgated tapes of US space missions (including encounters with UFOs,
drilling into the Moon and finding metal, etc.)

The last remaining sample of live smallpox.

A three-foot tall egg, with a cruciform opening in the top. Empty. {Alien}

90% of the works of Nikola Tesla

A Mac SE hard disk containing plans for “Transparent Aluminum” {Star Trek
IV}

A Slaver Stasis box (and/or a GP #4 Hull).

A short mathematical proof that the travelling salesman problem can be solved
in polynomial time.

An Elder God, (apparently) dead. {Lovecraft Mythos}

A Kirlean photograph of Stonehenge — showing auras on all the stones,
including the missing ones.

Various and sundry archaeological relics from Mu, Lemuria, Atlantis,
Shangri-La, and Xanadu.

Or the blueprints for a device that creates a space warp that opens on Yuggoth,
Thats Pluto, for you non-Lovecraftians. This idea is taken from an adventure in
the magazine _The Unspeakable Oath_.
[[ Could someone describe this device?? ]]

A quick, fool-proof algorithm for de-encrypting the DES.

Piltdown Man, the REAL skull.

The bones of the Ancient Astronauts

Digital watch around the wrist of a dinosaur

Calico kit bash from “I Come in Peace”.
The “calico kit bash” is a Hollywood SFX man modifying a calico
machine pistol. The calico is a machine pistol with an M-16 barrel, cut down,
and a handgrip from the same gun. It holds some 60 rounds of .22 ammo in a helix
clip along the top of the pistol. In all, it does look kinda spacey. In I Come
in Peace, the gun has five settings, each with an exponentially higher damage.
At five, it could probably take out a couple of semis, or maybe a large house.
Definitely something the government wouldn’t want to give up.

The speck of dust that The Incredible Shrinking Man lives in.

The two lost Silmarils

Nazi Nukes

An enlargement of the picture of the map from Time Bandits.

Large stack of “Final Notice” bills from the French gov’t regarding some large
statue.

QUESTOR (from Gene Roddenberry’s made for TV movie/pilot).

Several Heechee artifacts found in a moonbase NASA won’t tell us
about…{Gateway, Annals of the Heechee}

The source code for H.A.R.L.I.E. {When H.A.R.L.I.E. was One}

Source code for P1 {?}

Source code for ME {?}

Various Mecha

A large number of Swords [[ Maybe all 12? ]]

An F-15’s gun-camera recording of a Dragon in flight

The coordinates of a rain-swept planet far out in the galaxy, inhabited by a
little old man who likes cats (even though he doesn’t belive in them).

The Color Out of Space, assuming somebody recovered it. (from a story by
Lovecraft)

Fully detailed photographs of “the face on Mars”, showing laser burns and such

The notes of the doctors who examined ET {E.T.: The Extraterrestrial}

The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator {Warner Brothers cartoons}

A bubble-gum machine full of dehydrated Martians (just add water). {Warner
Brothers cartoons}

Edison’s final invention: The Necrophone, a device enabling one to speak
with the dead.

A text about flouridation and its true effects on the mind.

An engine that runs on the passage of _time_ (a Soviet physicist, whose name
escapes me, has crunched the numbers on this one!)

A dummy terminal connecting to nothing in particular, with a prompt.
When any name is typed in, the COMPLETE history of the subject is displayed,
including what he is doing at this moment, with constant updating.

The CIA’s report on Psychotronic Weaponry, with the Soviet’s explaination
to what happened to Nixon and Carter, as well athe death of Brezhnev,
Andropov, Chernenko, and the meteoric rise to power of one Mikhail
Gorbachev, who happened to be head of the KGB when the research was being
done. {The Power}

One human skeleton, found in casket, with a wooden stake inserted into the
ribcage.

The bodies of the victims of Crest test #57.

Definitive proof of the Gold thesis that states that petroleum, rather
than being a diminishing resource, is constantly replenished naturally
by the earth.

Foo Fighter
Remains of a sophisticated WWII Japanese fighter, codenamed Kamikaze,
with humanoid figures, apprently the gremlins of legend, crushed in the
machinery, that must have disabled it.

The Cylinder
A strange machine, incorporating a glass cylinder with a weird gel flowing
within it, and sealed with a lock that can only be opened from within.
Found in the basement of a church in Detroit. {Prince of Darkess}

Directions to Midian. {Nightbreed}

Genome
Completed Human Genome data, ten years before official completion. In
addition, notes about various other, non-terrestrial genomes, which include two
new bases. {X-Files}

Branched DNA
Data on radical and dangerous recombitant DNA proceedure, as well as
sample and folder marked, “Scully, D.” {X-Files}

Notes on several mutants
Complete medical run-downs, including DNA comparisons, on a part-
man/ part fluke, a known IRA terrorist who has displayed miraculous
regenerative abilities, and Tooms, an extremely old mutant who can subsist
exclusively on human liver}.

Fungus
Silicon-based fungus, currently inert, found in a volcano in Washington.
{X-Files}

Parasite
Strange bioluminescent parasite, found in a tree in Washington state. {X-
Files}

Virus
A retrovirus which produces a bizarre but fatal immunological response: the
subject loses control over the rate of production or red blood cells, and
dies when the excess of blood clogs capillaries. {X-Files}

Parasite
Found in polar core sample, parasite insinuates itself into body, where it
attatches itself to the adrenal gland.{X-Files}

LSD-M
File containing information about insecticide LSD-M, and its effects on
phobic minds. {X-Files}

Extraterrestrial Embryos
Found in sets of six, each jar has an alien embryo floating in a
suspension.
{X-Files}

Fungi
Mushroom native to Japan that curbs the effect of Alzheimer’s, but also
creates powerful hallucinations. {X-Files}

Saliva in Vial
Vial containing Saliva with the label “Manitou” on it. {X-Files} Exposure
to the blood of a subject causes massive biological changes, including
a taste for blood.

Data on Eve Project
Various files containing information about a eugenics program run in the
70’s – early 80’s. Program was shut down, and participants destroyed or
dispersed. {X-Files}

Research on using salamander DNA to help regrow human limbs {X-Files}

Skeleton
Winged skeleton found somewhere in Iran – Iraq. Next to figure was
burning sword, which extinguished when touched.

Bibles
Copies of the “Bugger all” and “Thou Shalt” bible, as well as a single
edition of a bible that expands on the first chapter of Genesis. {Good Omens}

Book
The Nice and Accurate Prophesies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. An uncannily
accurate book. {Good Omens}

Orb
A golden orb with several knobs protruding. Several knobs seem to be
missing (the symmetrical pattern is disturbed), but there are no seams where the
missing rods ought to go. {Brisco County}

Crate of Books
A crate containing several hundred copies of GURPS: Wraith and
GURPS: Changeling.

Collection of Books
THe complete works of Sutter Crane, as well as a 1850s map showing the
location of Hob’s Cove, New Hampshire.

Cryptic Suggestions
——————-

Many of the suggestions I received were for people or objects that I know little
or nothing of. Can anyone fill me in on what the following objects are supposed
to be, and/or what source material they are from?

Judge Crater {?}

A box full of scrolls- written in Aramaic. Box says “Gnostic II.”
[[ What was Gnostic I? Whos toes would I be stepping on by including this? ]]

The Great Virus of ’29 {?}

The seed to the Tree of Knowledge
[[ Is this supposed to be a seed to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? If
so, we could just make it look like an apple seed, but I can’t see what good it
would do. Or is this supposed to be something else? ]]

The Rhinegold {?}

Snake Plisken’s death certificate {Escape From New York}

Saucer pieces, mostly melted from magnesium flares, found in (Ant)artic. {The
Thing From Outer Space}

The stiff little finger from the hand of an Invader. {The Invaders}

NASA office note about refusing collect call from a Will Robinson. {Lost in
Space}

The Cotapoxic (sp?) (“Close Encounters”)

A pair of yellow shoes with thick hollow glass soles. One sole is intact
and contains three goldfish skeletons. {I’m Gonna Git You Sucka}

The corpse of a grotesque, bipedal, fish-like being. Roughly 7′ tall,
the creature wears chitinous armor. In the crate with it are a strange
looking spear, net, gun on its shoulder, blade on one wrist, and an
electronic thingy on its other wrist. {Predator}

A female android, dressed in a pink gown, with her left arm torn out of
place. She looks remarkably like Olivia d’Abo. {?}

Two CDs, one marked “Elvis” and the other marked “Bruce.” These are kept
with two identically-marked reels of tape and a strange machine. {?}

An illuminated manuscript much like a Bible, along with a rabbit’s
corpse and many pieces of shrapnel. {?}

A large emerald in the shape of a heart, confiscated from a fence in New
York City. {Sandman}

the carbon copies of “Deadmeat”‘s notes {?}

formula 7x {?}

GOVERNMENT WAREHOUSE 137-7-B
[[ This intrigues me. If someone has a designation for the warehouse that
makes sense, I’ll use it. ]]

Talking of the missing sanity clause, how about a
copy of ‘Catch 22’? (The legistlation, not the book of course)

The Nuclear Reactor from the the _Thresher_ {?}

The Claw of Elkhund {?}

The duplicate Stonehenge from Niven {?}

The directions on how to call Fa and Be {Day of the Dolphin}

The Dracula Tapes

The notes from Umberto Eco’s meeting with Col. Ardenti {Focault’s Pendulum}

Spare parts for SeaView {Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea}

a man’s suit, made of a white cloth that doesn’t seem to hold dust {The Man in
the White Suit}

Two gold watches, one the stops time and one that transports people in time
{Twilight Zone, The Girl, The Gold Watch, and Everything, Voyagers}

A `nevermore late’ clock {?}

Directions to Yauknapataupha county {?}

Bones possibly from the remains of a roasted dodo, c.1950. {?}
[[ If it wasn’t for the date, I’ld think this refered to an episode of
The Goodies…]]

Plans for the “Wildfire” research station {Andromeda Strain}

George Washington’s membership card for the Masons … along with several
letters signed “George Washington” and “Adam Weisshaupt”, and a memo signed
by a grafologist claiming that both sets were written by the same person.

A pouch of sand, a red ruby on a chain, and a strange insect-like mask.
{Sandman}

Several Caroline clones (they work there). {?}

A silver albatross. {?}

An old-fashioned green railroad-man’s lantern, and a collection of green rings
of various shapes and sizes. {Green Lantern}

A lifeboat and other lifesaving gear, much of it stencilled with the name
“USS Cyclops”

Mission log of Apollo 17
[[ I assume there simply wasn’t an Apollo 17. If there is space here for a
bigger secret, let me know. ]]

A wall with a tennis ball partially embedded in it. {?}

A working Antithykera computer recovered from a wreck found near the Thresher
– made of titanium. {?}

The *real* set of rules to the game “Mornington Cresent.” {?}

A vial containing “Captain Tripps,” the ‘superflu’ from _The Stand_

_The Rigors_, by Meridian {?}

Fragments of Comet Hamner-Brown {?}

A skeletal (or frozen or living) Fithp {?}

Two 16-inch Battleship Cannon shells (you know – like the ones on the New
Jersey) Filled with Quick-Death organism bomblets. {?}

The British copy of the North American Treaty {?}

Several kilograms of Byzanium, along with a 1889 Colorado newspaper and the
body of a Red Army corporal. {?}

Staff of the Magi
A wooden staff, with a claw holding a crystal on the end. {Dragonlance}

The Starship DEFIANT {?}

A large number pf Swiss Army knives and rolls of Duct Tape. The Knives all
have the letter M engraved on them. {MacGyver}

The financial records of Stemple’s Mill, Seattle, Washington – signed
“Ishmael Marx” {?}

A number of semi-transparent, amoeboid creatures, accompanied by
semi-neanderthalic humanoids. {Altered States}

The leg-bones of Miles Vorkosigan {?}

One Dozen Red Roses {?}

Maps to caves in Ireland, where several spaceships (with markings in Gaelic)
are kept. {The Copper Crown}

Two thousand bottles of NyQuil {?}

The home address of Dr. Robert(?) McAran {?}

A near-complete copy of “the Red Book of Westmarch” {?}


Timothy Toner – [email protected] – And now from Mr. Punch, by N. Gaiman
“One cannot lie if one writes in blood. There is too much responsibility:
and the ghosts of those one has killed will rise up and twist the pen down
true lines…That’s why deals with the Devil must be signed in blood.”