UK Vigilante Movements & Psychological Warfare

The techniques used are covert and pervasive and are designed to minimise the resources required.

If they believe you have committed a crime but can’t prove it, they will spread false information about you amongst the people you work with.  The harassment which follows will be of their masterminding.  It will either involve repetitive banging of your desk, a double/strange cough everytime they pass you, or a certain whistle.

This may also follow you around outside of your work.  It is not to be confused with ‘noises in your head’ as you can see the people making the noises.  It may also take the form of random headlight flashes from cars when there is no need.  Double-beeping of car horns – again where there is no need.  Often you are the only one around.

You may also experience a catalogue of problems with your car that even the worst Fiat ever made couldn’t live up to.  You may even notice that things in your house have moved around since you left.  Amazing!  You’ve lived normally all your life and now you’re randomly losing your mind.

The harassment will likely be co-ordinated by mobile phones.

What advice can be given?

1.Stay calm.  Pretend everything is normal.  DO NOT under any circumstances see a psychiatrist as you may as well be writing off your entire life along with your credibility and self esteem.  Seriously, it would be better to stick a fork in your eyes than see a psychiatrist.  This is the most important advice I can give.

2.Stay off alcohol and drugs as this will make you do something stupid/sloppy and put you right where they want you.  They can then pursue more legitimate means of prosecution.

What can you do in terms of revenge?

1.If they want to listen in on phone calls, provide plenty for them to listen to.  Checking out numerous potential terrorist threats will keep them very busy.  Maybe some real ones will get through while they’re desperately trying to screw you over. 🙂

2.Property damage.  Very basic.  If your company claims that they have no proof of the harassment against you with which to take action, then they’ll hardly be able to see you coming in late at night and taking a shit on one of the perpetrators desks… or pissing in their favourite coffee mug.  I know, it’s terrible when it has to come to this but you didn’t start this thing.  Do not feel guilty.  You are not guilty.  They are.

3.Police parking lots.  Put on a hoody and let down some tires.  You’d be surprised how easy it is.  Go in during the cover of night.  They simply don’t expect someone to dare do this.  Go in quick and out quick.  No longer than 60 seconds.  Plan your escape.

4.Government buildings.  Clearly if tax-payers money can be wasted on fucking up your life, they have too much of it!  Refocus the expenditure of these vital funds by creating much needed maintenance work on government buildings.  Nothing fancy.  Smash a few windows.  Again, plan this thing as if its a major heist.  Careful!  Don’t kill/hurt anyone.  You are not them!  They simply don’t have the will to investigate all such acts, so if enough people do it the system will fall flat on its face.  This is us banging their desk. 😉

5.Speed cameras.  Seriously, what are they there for?  Easy targets for us, that’s what.  Spray them, bomb them.  Pull them out of the ground.  Feeling ambitious?  Get some mates together and stick this crucial safety device through the window of a Panda car in the police parking lot.  That’ll slow them down.

6.Bombard civil service help lines with queries.  Can’t think of anything to say?  Just cough at them.  They seem to understand that.

7.Remember!  Keep the scale low and the volume high.  That’s their game.  Let’s make it ours too.  See how long they can last before they flip out.


It’s a sad world we live in where we have to play games.  But if we’re being forced to take part, we may as well win.